My Nothingness

6 Years and Counting..

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 16:51:09 GMT

Wait. Actually, that's a bit inaccurate. Truth is, I've been with the guy for almost 13 years, and out of that we've been married for 6 years. I'm not gonna lie and say it has been a bed of roses all the while, we've sure had our fair share of ups and downs. An emotional Roller Coaster I would say, but I wouldn't trade if for anything. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful to God for all that's been bestowed upon me and especially for the fact that we share the 2 most precious beings in our lives. Yes, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for..

(Our Compelling Reasons)

My hubby may not be the most romantic person in the world. He may not send me flowers on V Day with romantic cards. He doesn't pull the chair out for me when we sit down to dinner and no, he doesn't run to my side of the car to open the door for me. Nope, that only happens on TV. definitely not for me. And no, I don't think I can dream about receiving fancy cars or exorbitant luxury items from him anytime soon..

But he's loving, kind and thoughtful. He'd always be giving me foot rub and shoulder massages without me having to ask. And at night he's always the one to pull the comforter over me and arrange the pillows around me just how I like it. He's also very generous towards me and the kids, and at the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat, what me want from him, me will prolly get.. If not now, one day in the near future. yes, he spoils me and the kids with what little luxuries he can afford, but I'd like to think that I deserve it and he does get something back in return too..

And of course, the one thing that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside is the fact that he's such a great father. The way he dotes on Myra & Ayell, the way he hugs and kisses them, the way the kids look up to him and love him back, there is no doubt that I married the right person (despite all his other flaws & imperfection).

So to my dear hubs, here's wishing you Happy 6th Year Anniversary!! Here's hoping there'll be many many more years to come!!

(Egypt Here We Come!!)

And oh, thanks for the impending anniversary gift! Although I pretend to be peeved about not being able to exchange it for my LVoes, I want you to know that I'm very excited about it and appreciate the thoughtfulness very much...

Muah muahs!! Love you lots!

2009!

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 13:48:35 GMT

Wow! How time flies! I dunno where all the time went! It's just so easy to get caught up with your lives, only to realize that a year have passed and I'm still the same ol' me. Not that I was expecting to win an accomplishment award or climbing Mt. Kinabalu or anything..But I guess, to be fair, 2008 was a relatively good year for me in so many ways..

2008 was the year that..

:: witnessed me adding quite a couple of new Coach handbags to my collection (albeit self purchased or as a gift from GA and my lil sis - muahs I love you both!!)

:: I received my first ever Tag He*uer from GA as our 5th Anniversary Gift.. It was the AquaRacer in Pearl Pink and I love it to death..

:: GA went to Spain for his incentive trip and came back with Loewe handbag fo me (among other things).. Woot!! It was soo worth it kena tinggal..

:: My 2 kids turned 4 (Myra) and 1 (Azriel) and since it was Ayell's 1st birthday we decided to splurge a bit and have a party for him, clowns et al. For Myra's birthday, we had a small do with our closest relatives cum her adoring fans.

:: I unintentionally voted for the wrong party in the General Elections 2008. Altho it would have made no difference anyways, given the majority win.. huhu talk about being absentminded!!

:: I left my "safe" job in the company that I thot was my dream company for a higher paying job in an industry I never dreamed of entering. (sometimes, I still wonder what the hell was I thinking!!). but it also made me a lot happier since I was no longer "invisible" and met a whole bunch of cool colleagues and have "belonged" eversince!!

:: My maid went back for a holiday and I realized that i'm nowhere near the SuperMOM material that some people are. How do those people do it? huhu not that I dun love my kids, but I think they like me better when I'm not the Mummaid.. hehe

:: I realized that you don't actually KNOW a person untill you work with him/her.. In short, it's not a really good idea to work under a person you've known in a different context (friend, vendor, etc).. who knows, he/she might turn psycho on you.. yup Ms. BLING, I'm referring to you!! In this case, I would like to say it out loud that I miss my old MALE bosses!! huhuhu..

:: my Lil Sis came back from her Summer Hols and we went to Bandung just the two of us.. We had lots of fun and really shopped till we dropped that our baggage limit almost went bust. It was also there that a really cute guy was hitting on me and for the first time ever, I wasn't too inclined to reveal my marital status and it was my MATURED lil sis who sort of broke it to him.. It's not that I don't love GA to bits and pieces and the thot of being unfaithful has never crossed my mind, but it was really flattering and a real ego boost, u know? :)

:: Ga & I traded our cool MyV* for our beloved Rush, with the excuse of wanting the extra seating space (5+2 seater).. In actual fact, Myra hardly sits at the back row and the seat is almost always folded to make room for all our shopping bags, etc...Whatever works huh? And I must say, i love the car lots!!

:: Myra started her Pre 1 Kindy at C*C Bandar Puteri and eventhough it took her a while to get used to the whole school thing, I must say that she's pretty much settled and doing really well in school.. It took me a while to narrow down to a suitable kindy for Myra and I'm glad that we finally decided on this particular one..

:: we attended Myra's 1st ever Sports Day & Annual Concert and both times we were very proud of our baby girl!! Who would have thot that the small baby who insisted on being born at 25 weeks would have grown into such a big girl so fast? Sometimes I have a lump in my throat when I think about how fast she's grown and that she will soon be in Primary school..

:: found me enjoying all the food that I loved and craved without a moment's care about the impending weight gain. GA and I were always having a list of things in mind to eat and try, albeit with our families or just the 2 of us.. and now, I can sadly say that all those good food is getting to me and eventho I only weigh 45kg, my ass is the size of me pregger self!! huhu no, it's not my imagination.. it seems that all the fat adalah berkumpul disittew.. stress okeh! I'm gonna have to do something about it..

:: we took the kids on some cuti cuti malaysia with destinations such as Kuching, Langkawi, Penang, Damai Laut, Ipoh, Cameron Highlands, Port Dickson, JB and of course GAs Hometown - KB. It ain't cheap and it ain't easy to bring kids, let alone 2 kids on a holiday.. what with all the stuffs to pack and bring, ensuring that we stay at comfortable hotels with the kids, the many toilet breaks for Myra, the buying of the small things that they saw and wanted during our many shopping expeditions, ensuring we only eat at "decent" restaurants to ensure that the kids are eating 'safe' foods.. huhuhu but the happy look on their faces, their appreciative ways to show us how happy they are, that just makes everything worth it..

:: GA & I are at the height of our busy-ness at work.. my new job seems to demand a lot from me and there are times when i have to keep long hours. sometimes I would already have fallen asleep by the time he comes back from work and I would have to drudgingly get up to heat up his dinner and etc. Sometimes we're both too busy at work that we don't get the chance to call each other as often as we'd like. GA's been traveling a lot due to his job, leaving me with the kids for a few days at a time, and god knows how much I miss him everytime we're apart.. sometimes I get a bit resentful but I do understand that fact that he can't change being the workaholic that he is and that it's all prolly for our family's sake (especially so during the year ends when he gets his annual bonus.heheh). Alhamdulillah, so far, we're still holding strong and still spending quality time together and with the kids as much as possible..

:: saw me meeting up with my fellow Mummy bloggers quite a few times, while enjoying their company and the makan makan..my friendship with them is almost as old as Myra and our relationship is much stronger as we share with each other a myriad of things like our kids, our passion for food, our passion for handbags and shopping, sometimes just to bitch and vent and let off steam, sometimes to share our personal problems and lots more.. Over time, we've lost some of the gals to the 'black hole' to the point of no return, but here's hoping that the rest of us will remain as friends aka soul sistahs!!

:: shocked my family (maternal side) with a scare that left everyone very anxious and sad and so many other indescribable emotions. it was also a trying time for me as we were not allowed to tell my lil sis about it, and for someone who shares almost everything with her, it was very the stressful!! but alhamdulillah, allah is kind and allah is great. there was good news and we were all very happy for the clean break.. of course, its ugly nose might come peeking out again, for which we can only pray for Allah's merciful help.

:: also saw my paternal grandma (Nek) being admitted into the hospital for the very first time, and it saddens my heart to see how frail she's become.. I've always seen her as someone who's always strong and healthy and seeing her in the hospital the other kinda gave me a wake up call. a rude reminder how both my grandmothers are getting on and they're prolly not gonna be around forever. it was also a reminder that I should see them and spend time with them as often as I can.. mintak dipanjangkan umur Nek dan Wan berdua, semoga sentiasa sihat and may there be many more healthy years to come.. i love the both of them to bits and pieces.. huhuhu.. :(

so that was more or less 2008 in a nutshell for me. alhamdulillah, it has been a good one for me and here's hoping 2009 will be just as good, insyallah..

and as for my 2009 aspirations:

:: to try and squeeze in some time for some good ol' exercising (to get rid of the ass)
:: to read at the very least 1 book a month (i've got a bookcase full of books that I've not read)
:: to travel to at least 1 overseas destination for the year (Singapore pun ok what)
:: to allocate a bigger % for my savings (rather than have the money disappear with nothing to show for)
:: to only buy necessary stuffs and no more buying on impulse, especially clothes for the kids (since they can only wear it for a few months and also coz their almaris cannot take it anymore)
:: to skip my annual "pilgrimage" to BDO this year (I should prolly spend my money elsewhere and see other places)
:: to start saving up for our impending trip for NJ's graduation in 2011. (pengsan woo..)
:: to buy my 1st LV (huhu krisis ekonomi konon)
:: to better balance my thankless job of being a wife, mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, daughter in law, sister in law, employee and employer to the maid. (huhu multi-tasker..)
:: to not let the demands of my job and my control freak of a boss take over my life..
:: to keep my temper at bay (jgn mudah sangat naik angin, especially with Myra)
:: as always, to be a better muslim.. i need to work harder on this
:: and finally, to try not to abandon this blog completely.. hehehe (we'll see about that)..

Happy 2009 u ols!! muah muahs!!

Parenting Woes

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 07:03:21 GMT

This morning Myra was being extremely difficult and refused to get ready for school. Very the drama, the crying without tears, the shouting, the running all around the room refusing to get into the bathroom. You know, the whole toddler being difficult scene. Enough to make Mummy shed some angry and frustrated tears. Even worse, I was scheduled for an important meeting at 9AM and there I was, running late. I certainly didn't have the time and the patience to coax her gently into getting ready for school and all her nonsense. And suddenly i just couldn't contain myself any longer and just lashed out at her. A slap on her arm, a pinch on the butt. I doubt it was even that painful, or perhaps it was?

What scared me was the amount of rage that was just dying to be let out. I almost went beserk, i think. Luckily I caught myself and took a deep breath. Gosh, I don't know what came into me, but I certainly didn't like the person that I was for that few minutes. I realize now that I'm really not that patient as a person. I suppose I should try to be more patient and tolerant to the fact that things don't always go my way. I feel like the worst mom in the world, and even now I still have tears in my eyes when I think about what happened this morning. huhu i never actually meant for it to happened, and i feel really bad about it.. Kesian anak mummy, pagi pagi dah kena marah...I bet she wished that it was GA who bathed her this morning, at least he's much more patient than I am and better with the kids..

I see now that despite what some people are saying about how I should have more kids because they all turn out cute and cerdik and what nots, I'm the one who has to deal with everything and the only one who should make the call. Therefore, i should think that at this point in time, the 2 that I have is more than I can handle and should prolly stick to it for the time being, at least if I want to be a better mom, that is. I don't want to always feel harassed and resort to scolding and maybe beating (mintak dijauhkan) them. As people always say, quality is much more important than quantity and I suppose I'd rather be a good mom to 2 than a horrible and angry and harassed mom to 4. I want to be the mummy that they always come running to and be their best friend, not someone who scolds them for silly little things because she's too stressed out.. huhu..

:(( I can't wait to go home and hug her, but at the same time hope that she won't be so difficult at times. May god grant me the strength and patience.. Biler my wife aka the maid nak balik ni?

huhuhu...

On Hiatus

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:32:43 GMT

Yuhuu U Ols!

wow, it's been so loong since I last wrote in here.. gosh, there's been so many things happening in my life right now, what with my crazy job, the kids, being maidless and all.. huhu unfortunately blogging will have to take a backseat for a while.. i'll be back (i hope) cause I don't think I've the heart to abandon this blog.. mak kan the sentimental type u ols..

In the meantime, maybe u ols can head over to my flickr for snippets of what's been happening in me life.. if you're lucky, i'll manage to upload some pics from time to time..

muahs!

Bee Busy Bee Bus

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 10:32:11 GMT

Ya Ampun, busynya mak.. Huhu feels like I can hardly breathe, let alone do anything else at work. Gone are the days when I can update my blog, go blog hopping, upload the kids pictures, facebooking and etc at work! Yikes! But it's nice to get the adrenalin going again, and feeling exhilarated when I've accomplished something big. From now until we actually launch these buggers, I'll be slaving my ass off!! So wish me luck u ols!

Just some quick and random updates:

:: Myra's getting used to the whole writing without the dotted lines thingy and can still be very anxious about it. But hopefully as she gets better at it, she'll stop worrying and whining about it. Other than that, she's happy at school. Recently she had her C*EC Real Kids Olympiad and we got to see her and her friends in action and they were so cute with their sports attire and running around afterwards with their medals (think every kid got one).

:: Azriel's taken to answering the phone at home and is so cute when he's at it. He says hello in the cutest way and sometimes I find myself calling home for no other reason but to hear his voice. However, trouble strikes when kakak is home and beat him to the phone when it rings. He'll go shrieking in anger.. hehe my whistle loud baby!!

:: I get a warm fuzz when I think about my kids. They bring a smile to my face despite those occassionally hard times when they get to be too much of a handful. If this ain't love in the purest form, I don't know what is.

:: Hubby is prospering well, both in his career and his tummy. hehe, now that I'm slowly getting to be a better cook, he's suffering from my newly found interest. It's really not that bad, at least now he looks like the married man and father that he is.. haha all the better for me!!

:: My lil sis got back for the summer in June and brought back so many stuffs for me (Coach and Non Coach) and the kids, it's crazy!! huhu she sure knows how to shop! And I'm also really proud that despite all the shoppings, part time job, travelling and getting involved in lots of activities around campus, she's still doing very well in school. huhu thanks for the coach wristlet for me birthday!

(Sink kat Toilet in Pari*s Va*n Java Mall, Bandung. There's fish swimming around the sink areas)

:: Ooh, and did I mention that I was recently in Bandung for a quick getaway with me sis? No, I didn't take her to Tangkuban Prahu and the likes, but instead we spent 3 whole days shopping till we dropped! It was fun and crazy that at the end of the trip we had to squeeze everything into our 4 bags and pray to god that we weren't over the limit with the baggage. Surprisingly, we even had 2 more kgs to go!

What else? What else?

:: GA turned 31 last week and we took the kids out to dinner to celebrate the special day. The previous weekend we already had a bbq with GA's to celebrate my, BIL#1 and GA's birthday, so this time around it was just the 4 of us (plus the maid). Being the man that he is, being around his kids is celebration enough and I'm happy that I've managed to give him such a cute pair. Heck, I didn't even get him a birthday present declaring that" Myra and Azriel is a special present on a platter". nyehnyeh

I guess that's about it for now. Can't promise when I'll update next, but at least I will try to upload some pictures of the kids in the meantime.

MuahMuahMuahs!

Back From Nowhere

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:15:48 GMT

Right. So I've been missing for a while. I don't even have a solid reason for it. blame it on the rain, or my new job. I don't care. Truth is, the last couple of weeks (or should i say months) have been an emotional roller coaster with lots of highs and its fair share of lows. but i suppose that's life. at least i'm still standing.

I won't even attempt to summarize what's been going on in my life. but suffice to say that I have a lot to be thankful for and the next time i bitch that my life sucks, gimme a punch, will ya?

anyways, some of the things that's been keeping me occupied:

My Kids & Hubs
- Myra is doing well although she's been a bit apprehensive about going to school these past few days. when probed, she finally revealed the fact that she's anxious about not being able to write freestyle too well without the dotted lines. huhu so i've been spending the 20 minutes drive to her school every morning listening to her rant about wanting the dotted lines. yikes! but then again, i can't believe how they can expect a 4 year old who's only been in school for half a year to be able to write freely just yet. and that's only kindy. I can't even begin to imagine the pressures that our kids will have to go thru as they get older.
- Azriel on the other hand is as lasak as a boy can be. Very different from kakak when she was his age, his favorite past time is tormenting his sister with the hair pulling and grabbing of the pencil or food from kakak's hands. He's also very much into touching mummy's decorative items and climbing up onto the coffee table and sort of dancing on it. When he's not doing that, he likes to run around the house and picking up stuffs from the floor and putting into into his mouth.. Yikes! And oh, don't get me started on how difficult it is to get him to take his meds when he's sick. He's currently down with measles and it's a major chore to get the fever meds down his throat! The only time he's sitting still is when he's at sleep at night, and even then he'd roll around in bed trying to find his favored position!
- GA just got back from his company trip to Spain last week. The thought of going 10 whole days without him being around was enough to send me packing and loading everyone into the car and seek refuge at me grandma's. Much better, since there were lots of people to tend the kids and give me some release to do my own stuffs and also the fact that i can leave at 8.30 in the morning and reach the office before 8.45am. i forgot how cool it is to be living in DH50490... good thing it was the school hols so Myra didn't have to miss any days at all. And oh, GA came back with lots of hasil tangkapan for everyone and he even got me a L*oewe handbag from Barcelona as an early birthday present and also to compensate for the kena tinggal part. :))

My Family
- Well, BIL #1 got married recently after a relatively short courtship (in comparison to mine and GA's and his previous relationship). It was a nice wedding back in KB and our dear Myra was the honored flower girl, although we had to bribe her to wear the tiara. hehe.. anyways, here's wishing the both of them a lifetime of happiness and that the both of them will find everything they hope and wish for in a marriage. As for me, I've got to get used to the fact that I'm not the only daughter in law anymore.. *wink*
- There was recently a scare in my family and for a while everyone was walking on eggshells and trying to deal with it in the best way we possibly can. thankfully, everything's over now and all of us can finally breathe again, so to speak. and we're having dimsum next week on my birthday to celebrate!

My Work
- Despite being busy and the ocassional late nights. It still hasn't sucked for me. Yeah, the internal processes and procedures can leave me frustrated at times when I'm struggling to get my job done. But then again, tell me which large corporations doesn't have that kind of bullshit? At least my colleagues are a crazy bunch and we get through it together, in laughter and in tears and in food. heheh

My Rush
- And ooh, we've got our new set of wheels in May and lovin' it. It took me quite a while to get used to the size, especially during parking. But now I'm soo into it, jadi tak biasa lak biler drive keta lain.. Too bad the blardy gomen announced the petrol price hike, otherwise I'd be enjoying it without a care in the world.. huhuhu..

OK, Enjoy The Weekend! Muahs!

Ms. aQitE

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:06:50 GMT

Harroo!!

It's my 5th day at the place where they humanize insurance, and I'm happy to report that it's been good so far. I don't have a PC yet at my workstation(they're working on it) and so far I'm just tagging along for meetings and pretending to be doing things and trying very hard not to be dozing off.

Other than that, my boss and colleagues in the division are very nice people and we all share one thing in common which is the fact that most of us are new at the organization. Everyone looks out for one another and we're all a bunch of "gila-gila" people and eventhough the workload's a killer, but at least we're laughing our way through it. It's really to soon to say anything or even if this will be my IT job, but I hope that I shall be happy here. At this point in time, I don' have any regrets for accepting the job offer and I hope it stays that way, Insyallah..

Some thoughts & observations:
:: Over here, everyone is at the office by 8:45AM and people are obsessed about not being late. (yikes! at T*M, 8:45AM I baru nak carik and rebut parking kat L2)
:: The scenario at 5:45PM is very different from when I was in T*M, nobody goes off or rushes off on time. (huhu, much to my distress, but so far the latest I've left the office pun is at 7pm which is not so bad. )
:: The drive to work is of no difference to me, but the drive back is agak leceh coz I have to go thru MV to enter the fed hiway to head home. (but it's really not that bad coz i just lose around 15 minutes at most)
:: There's less protocol aka sistem kasta here as compared to T*M. I've only been here for 4 days and I've eaten my meal with my VP for a few times already. And he's been known to come and visit us at our floor during tea time and buy coffee for everyone..
:: They are not too hung up on titles around here. The non execs workstation are the same as everyone else and we all just sit around each other and not separated accoding to "kasta". (something which I've never gotten used to when I was at T*M)
:: Some managers even sit in normal cubicles like the rest of the execs and no one kicks a fuss.
:: For parking at the basement, I would need to pay RM40 per month. (huhu, kat T*M it's free parking, but at least here I don't have to worry about rushing for free parking and about people blocking my car. We have to apply for a parking lot as they have to make sure parking is sufficient before allowing more people in)
:: Food is never a problem here cause there's plenty of things to eat. If you don't like the food court, there's a cafe and GJ Coffee in the building and plenty of restaurants and stalls surrounding the area.
:: We have settled into a routine in which we have breakfast together at the foodcourt, later go out for lunch and buy coffee from GJ downstairs during tea time. (Damn, like they say, the more you earn, the more you spend..)
:: I've been doing lots of readings on the products and what nots, and so far still learning the ropes around here. One thing for sure, they don't make it hard for me and so far I've always felt like I belong.. That's a good sign, I hope.
:: My boss is a female boss this time around (good luck to me!) and very workaholic pulak tu. Furthermore, expectations are high at this job and I would have to manage it wisely. I will need to show her my high level of commitment without setting into a pattern of working too late. Insyallah, can do..

Hmm, that's about it for now I guess. Have A Great Weekend U Ols!

ps: Azriel's birthday party was a blast, alhamdulillah. the weather was good, lots of people came, the kids had a blast, everyone said they enjoyed the food and nothing went to waste. and ooh, CheeChee was a hit with the kids. Will upload the pictures soonest.
pps: I'm on charity this month, my April pay is being held by T*M and the pay for the new co will also be in next month.. huhu nasib baik ada GA.. but ooh, I soo can't wait to receive my paychecks next month!

Happy 1st Birthday Azriel!

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:46:24 GMT

Huhu, Azriel Turns 1 Year Old Today..(Gosh, it only feels like yesterday when I first held you in my arms in the delivery suite)

Happy Birthday Sayang. :)

May Allah bless you and always bestow upon you good fortune and good health.

There are no words to describe how much we love you, suffice to say that you and your kakak Myra are our life. We will do anything in our power to give you the good life you kids deserve and hopefully more.

May you grow up to be a good boy and menjadi anak yang soleh. Insyallah.

We love you so much sweetie!

lots of hugs and kisses,
Papa & Mummy

ps: hope that you will enjoy your birthday party this weekend. both of us worked really hard to throw you a party worthy of the special event of your 1st birthday. muahs!

------

On another note:

- Some of you may already know via my status in FB, but anyways, I've decided to take the plunge and accept the job offer. My last day here will be on Thursday and on Monday I will begin my new working life at the new place. Woot! TOM akan lebih meriah selepas ini.. And hopefully takde la busy mana.. huhu I can only wish.. Will update about this later.

LaLaLaLa

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:59:06 GMT

Right now I should be finalizing the guest list for Azriel's do, but here I am blogging and sambil sambil tu FB-ing. Haha, talk about procastination huh?

Anyways,

# i saw fi*tna just now on you*tube, and i think how awfully misunderstood our religion is. I mean like, do they even believe that Isl*m promotes terrorism and cruelty? The translation of the quran verses, did they just simply pluck in the sky? Gosh, rasa macam upset pula tengok the whole clip. It's so blatantly rude and provoking!

# it's sad about the news on the child prodigy who become a hoo*ker kan? she had such potential, but i suppose sometimes smart people tend to derail from the education track cause they don't find it challenging enough. And as for her, who knows what she was thinking? Hopefully she will come to her senses. Rugi besar!

# and oh, it rained cats and dogs this evening on my way home from work. I am now so tired at having to concentrate real hard while driving (coz it was so dark and visibility was poor), I'm glad GA's back from his trip to Johor so that he can play his usual role of my tukang urut.. hehe

# Myra will be on her first field trip tomorrow to the National Science Center. Her first time on the bus with friends and jalan jalan without us (family).. Mummy pulak yang excited.. Wish I can be there to witness it, but sadly I have to work tomorrow and plus I don't think parents are allowed to tag along.. Luckily we've already paid for the trip pictures in advance with the fees, so hopefully we'll be getting some pics soon.

2 more days to the weekend, can't wait!

ps: and ooh, have you seen my dogeared necklace? Check it out here. :)

The Irony Of Life

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:05:25 GMT

For the first time, someone (or rather, a company) is willing to pay for me to join them earlier, to put in a 24hours (yikes) notice. It's like, everytime you hear about these cases you wonder what is so special about them that their new employer is willing to fork out the dough. You hope and wish that one day you'd get that special treatment and the opportunity to just drop everything too.. And then one day, you get what you wish for. Someone is so eager for you to join them that they call you on daily basis asking for this and that and even managed to send a memo to the relevant folks to request bringing you in ASAP. It's all been approved and if they had their way, you will be over there before you can even blink.. Sounds like a dream come true huh? An offer from out of nowhere, with much higher pay, but not higher position, which is good cause who wants to shoulder all the responsibility anyways.. You should be jumping for joy, shouldn't you?

Only thing is, you are having second thots about it.. You are still in a dillemma, unsure whether you should jump or stay. You don't know if you are willing to start over and do the uphill battle once again. You don't know if the much desired extra dough will be worth it if you get to see your kids less on weekdays. You don't know if you have what it takes anymore. Also, you don't know if you'll be able to meet the high expectations of the job (there must be a reason why they want me to start work so fast, kan?). Too many 'don't knows' and 'what ifs', you feel it's safer to remain in your current cocoon. So you hesitate, you delay in giving your answer in the pretense of waiting for the physical letter.

Sigh, such is the irony of life.

Oh well, at least I still have a week or two to make up my mind. Hopefully god will point me to the right direction. No matter what is the decision that I come to, no doubt I will have to sacrifice something. So I can't simply win em all..

Happy Weekend peeps!

* From the gal who wants to be a SAHM, but don't think that's gonna be happening anytime soon. Asyik dapat offer keje jek, biler nak dapat offer masyuk dari GA untuk jadi Minister of Home Affairs ni? Huhuhu..