My Nothingness

Sunday, February 01, 2009

6 Years and Counting..

Wait. Actually, that's a bit inaccurate. Truth is, I've been with the guy for almost 13 years, and out of that we've been married for 6 years. I'm not gonna lie and say it has been a bed of roses all the while, we've sure had our fair share of ups and downs. An emotional Roller Coaster I would say, but I wouldn't trade if for anything. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful to God for all that's been bestowed upon me and especially for the fact that we share the 2 most precious beings in our lives. Yes, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for..

(Our Compelling Reasons)

My hubby may not be the most romantic person in the world. He may not send me flowers on V Day with romantic cards. He doesn't pull the chair out for me when we sit down to dinner and no, he doesn't run to my side of the car to open the door for me. Nope, that only happens on TV. definitely not for me. And no, I don't think I can dream about receiving fancy cars or exorbitant luxury items from him anytime soon..

But he's loving, kind and thoughtful. He'd always be giving me foot rub and shoulder massages without me having to ask. And at night he's always the one to pull the comforter over me and arrange the pillows around me just how I like it. He's also very generous towards me and the kids, and at the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat, what me want from him, me will prolly get.. If not now, one day in the near future. yes, he spoils me and the kids with what little luxuries he can afford, but I'd like to think that I deserve it and he does get something back in return too..

And of course, the one thing that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside is the fact that he's such a great father. The way he dotes on Myra & Ayell, the way he hugs and kisses them, the way the kids look up to him and love him back, there is no doubt that I married the right person (despite all his other flaws & imperfection).

So to my dear hubs, here's wishing you Happy 6th Year Anniversary!! Here's hoping there'll be many many more years to come!!

(Egypt Here We Come!!)

And oh, thanks for the impending anniversary gift! Although I pretend to be peeved about not being able to exchange it for my LVoes, I want you to know that I'm very excited about it and appreciate the thoughtfulness very much...

Muah muahs!! Love you lots!

Posted at 12:51 am by Mummy Chomel
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Friday, January 02, 2009

2009!

Wow! How time flies! I dunno where all the time went! It's just so easy to get caught up with your lives, only to realize that a year have passed and I'm still the same ol' me. Not that I was expecting to win an accomplishment award or climbing Mt. Kinabalu or anything..But I guess, to be fair, 2008 was a relatively good year for me in so many ways..

2008 was the year that..

:: witnessed me adding quite a couple of new Coach handbags to my collection (albeit self purchased or as a gift from GA and my lil sis - muahs I love you both!!)

:: I received my first ever Tag He*uer from GA as our 5th Anniversary Gift.. It was the AquaRacer in Pearl Pink and I love it to death..

:: GA went to Spain for his incentive trip and came back with Loewe handbag fo me (among other things).. Woot!! It was soo worth it kena tinggal..

:: My 2 kids turned 4 (Myra) and 1 (Azriel) and since it was Ayell's 1st birthday we decided to splurge a bit and have a party for him, clowns et al. For Myra's birthday, we had a small do with our closest relatives cum her adoring fans.

:: I unintentionally voted for the wrong party in the General Elections 2008. Altho it would have made no difference anyways, given the majority win.. huhu talk about being absentminded!!

:: I left my "safe" job in the company that I thot was my dream company for a higher paying job in an industry I never dreamed of entering. (sometimes, I still wonder what the hell was I thinking!!). but it also made me a lot happier since I was no longer "invisible" and met a whole bunch of cool colleagues and have "belonged" eversince!!

:: My maid went back for a holiday and I realized that i'm nowhere near the SuperMOM material that some people are. How do those people do it? huhu not that I dun love my kids, but I think they like me better when I'm not the Mummaid.. hehe

:: I realized that you don't actually KNOW a person untill you work with him/her.. In short, it's not a really good idea to work under a person you've known in a different context (friend, vendor, etc).. who knows, he/she might turn psycho on you.. yup Ms. BLING, I'm referring to you!! In this case, I would like to say it out loud that I miss my old MALE bosses!! huhuhu..

:: my Lil Sis came back from her Summer Hols and we went to Bandung just the two of us.. We had lots of fun and really shopped till we dropped that our baggage limit almost went bust. It was also there that a really cute guy was hitting on me and for the first time ever, I wasn't too inclined to reveal my marital status and it was my MATURED lil sis who sort of broke it to him.. It's not that I don't love GA to bits and pieces and the thot of being unfaithful has never crossed my mind, but it was really flattering and a real ego boost, u know? :)

:: Ga & I traded our cool MyV* for our beloved Rush, with the excuse of wanting the extra seating space (5+2 seater).. In actual fact, Myra hardly sits at the back row and the seat is almost always folded to make room for all our shopping bags, etc...Whatever works huh? And I must say, i love the car lots!!

:: Myra started her Pre 1 Kindy at C*C Bandar Puteri and eventhough it took her a while to get used to the whole school thing, I must say that she's pretty much settled and doing really well in school.. It took me a while to narrow down to a suitable kindy for Myra and I'm glad that we finally decided on this particular one..

:: we attended Myra's 1st ever Sports Day & Annual Concert and both times we were very proud of our baby girl!! Who would have thot that the small baby who insisted on being born at 25 weeks would have grown into such a big girl so fast? Sometimes I have a lump in my throat when I think about how fast she's grown and that she will soon be in Primary school..

:: found me enjoying all the food that I loved and craved without a moment's care about the impending weight gain. GA and I were always having a list of things in mind to eat and try, albeit with our families or just the 2 of us.. and now, I can sadly say that all those good food is getting to me and eventho I only weigh 45kg, my ass is the size of me pregger self!! huhu no, it's not my imagination.. it seems that all the fat adalah berkumpul disittew.. stress okeh! I'm gonna have to do something about it..

:: we took the kids on some cuti cuti malaysia with destinations such as Kuching, Langkawi, Penang, Damai Laut, Ipoh, Cameron Highlands, Port Dickson, JB and of course GAs Hometown - KB. It ain't cheap and it ain't easy to bring kids, let alone 2 kids on a holiday.. what with all the stuffs to pack and bring, ensuring that we stay at comfortable hotels with the kids, the many toilet breaks for Myra, the buying of the small things that they saw and wanted during our many shopping expeditions, ensuring we only eat at "decent" restaurants to ensure that the kids are eating 'safe' foods.. huhuhu but the happy look on their faces, their appreciative ways to show us how happy they are, that just makes everything worth it..

:: GA & I are at the height of our busy-ness at work.. my new job seems to demand a lot from me and there are times when i have to keep long hours. sometimes I would already have fallen asleep by the time he comes back from work and I would have to drudgingly get up to heat up his dinner and etc. Sometimes we're both too busy at work that we don't get the chance to call each other as often as we'd like. GA's been traveling a lot due to his job, leaving me with the kids for a few days at a time, and god knows how much I miss him everytime we're apart.. sometimes I get a bit resentful but I do understand that fact that he can't change being the workaholic that he is and that it's all prolly for our family's sake (especially so during the year ends when he gets his annual bonus.heheh). Alhamdulillah, so far, we're still holding strong and still spending quality time together and with the kids as much as possible..

:: saw me meeting up with my fellow Mummy bloggers quite a few times, while enjoying their company and the makan makan..my friendship with them is almost as old as Myra and our relationship is much stronger as we share with each other a myriad of things like our kids, our passion for food, our passion for handbags and shopping, sometimes just to bitch and vent and let off steam, sometimes to share our personal problems and lots more.. Over time, we've lost some of the gals to the 'black hole' to the point of no return, but here's hoping that the rest of us will remain as friends aka soul sistahs!!

:: shocked my family (maternal side) with a scare that left everyone very anxious and sad and so many other indescribable emotions. it was also a trying time for me as we were not allowed to tell my lil sis about it, and for someone who shares almost everything with her, it was very the stressful!! but alhamdulillah, allah is kind and allah is great. there was good news and we were all very happy for the clean break.. of course, its ugly nose might come peeking out again, for which we can only pray for Allah's merciful help.

:: also saw my paternal grandma (Nek) being admitted into the hospital for the very first time, and it saddens my heart to see how frail she's become.. I've always seen her as someone who's always strong and healthy and seeing her in the hospital the other kinda gave me a wake up call. a rude reminder how both my grandmothers are getting on and they're prolly not gonna be around forever. it was also a reminder that I should see them and spend time with them as often as I can.. mintak dipanjangkan umur Nek dan Wan berdua, semoga sentiasa sihat and may there be many more healthy years to come.. i love the both of them to bits and pieces.. huhuhu.. :(

so that was more or less 2008 in a nutshell for me. alhamdulillah, it has been a good one for me and here's hoping 2009 will be just as good, insyallah..

and as for my 2009 aspirations:

:: to try and squeeze in some time for some good ol' exercising (to get rid of the ass)
:: to read at the very least 1 book a month (i've got a bookcase full of books that I've not read)
:: to travel to at least 1 overseas destination for the year (Singapore pun ok what)
:: to allocate a bigger % for my savings (rather than have the money disappear with nothing to show for)
:: to only buy necessary stuffs and no more buying on impulse, especially clothes for the kids (since they can only wear it for a few months and also coz their almaris cannot take it anymore)
:: to skip my annual "pilgrimage" to BDO this year (I should prolly spend my money elsewhere and see other places)
:: to start saving up for our impending trip for NJ's graduation in 2011. (pengsan woo..)
:: to buy my 1st LV (huhu krisis ekonomi konon)
:: to better balance my thankless job of being a wife, mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, daughter in law, sister in law, employee and employer to the maid. (huhu multi-tasker..)
:: to not let the demands of my job and my control freak of a boss take over my life..
:: to keep my temper at bay (jgn mudah sangat naik angin, especially with Myra)
:: as always, to be a better muslim.. i need to work harder on this
:: and finally, to try not to abandon this blog completely.. hehehe (we'll see about that)..

Happy 2009 u ols!! muah muahs!!

Posted at 09:48 pm by Mummy Chomel
(2) Said:

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Parenting Woes

This morning Myra was being extremely difficult and refused to get ready for school. Very the drama, the crying without tears, the shouting, the running all around the room refusing to get into the bathroom. You know, the whole toddler being difficult scene. Enough to make Mummy shed some angry and frustrated tears. Even worse, I was scheduled for an important meeting at 9AM and there I was, running late. I certainly didn't have the time and the patience to coax her gently into getting ready for school and all her nonsense. And suddenly i just couldn't contain myself any longer and just lashed out at her. A slap on her arm, a pinch on the butt. I doubt it was even that painful, or perhaps it was?

What scared me was the amount of rage that was just dying to be let out. I almost went beserk, i think. Luckily I caught myself and took a deep breath. Gosh, I don't know what came into me, but I certainly didn't like the person that I was for that few minutes. I realize now that I'm really not that patient as a person. I suppose I should try to be more patient and tolerant to the fact that things don't always go my way. I feel like the worst mom in the world, and even now I still have tears in my eyes when I think about what happened this morning. huhu i never actually meant for it to happened, and i feel really bad about it.. Kesian anak mummy, pagi pagi dah kena marah...I bet she wished that it was GA who bathed her this morning, at least he's much more patient than I am and better with the kids..

I see now that despite what some people are saying about how I should have more kids because they all turn out cute and cerdik and what nots, I'm the one who has to deal with everything and the only one who should make the call. Therefore, i should think that at this point in time, the 2 that I have is more than I can handle and should prolly stick to it for the time being, at least if I want to be a better mom, that is. I don't want to always feel harassed and resort to scolding and maybe beating (mintak dijauhkan) them. As people always say, quality is much more important than quantity and I suppose I'd rather be a good mom to 2 than a horrible and angry and harassed mom to 4. I want to be the mummy that they always come running to and be their best friend, not someone who scolds them for silly little things because she's too stressed out.. huhu..

:(( I can't wait to go home and hug her, but at the same time hope that she won't be so difficult at times. May god grant me the strength and patience.. Biler my wife aka the maid nak balik ni?

huhuhu...

Posted at 03:03 pm by Mummy Chomel
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